"Dogs have boundless enthusiasm but no sense of shame. I should have a dog as a life coach. "
– Moby
When your dog looks at you with those soulful, angelic eyes, all seems right with the world. But, really, we can only speculate about what their looks mean and what is going on in their heads. If only they spoke English......if only. This is my explanation of what all of those sweet blank stares mean. David Letterman always came up with a top 10 list, but I'll do you one better: here's my top 11-- enjoy!
TOP 11 THINGS YOUR DOG IS THINKING
11. I wonder why they threw this stuff in the trash....it's delicious!
10. (ears up, barking at the window). Squirrel! Must chase! Let me ouuuuuuuttt!!
9. Mom is asking me WHY I chewed her shoe? I was just bored! Okay, look really sad so she'll stop yelling. Sad face, sad face, sad face. Aaaaand, she bought it!
8. Aaahh, she's petting me and rubbing my belly....YES! Wait, don't STOP! What does that phone have that I don't?
7. Oh, LOOK! There's one of those little humans. They're always sticky. They smell like food. I bet there's crumbs on him. I gotta lick those.
6. That fluffy dog is prancing around like he owns MY dog park. I'd better chase him. Sigh. He's so loud. And squeaky. He must be stopped.
5. OH NO, it's the big square thing that holds all the clothes. That means they are leaving me. Okay, sad face, sad face, sad face. And they are still filling the square things? That's it. I'm finding some place to pee in the house. Revenge is sweet.
4. Okay, I'm done doing my business, let's get outta here. I stank up the place. Whaa...why is she picking it UP?! How humiliating for her.
3. If....I......could.....just.....reach......that........iiiiiitch. Need. To. Scratch. Wait?! A bath? With the smelly stuff????!??! NOOOOOOO! I'll stop itching, I swear!
2. Oh, they're home. OFF THE COUCH. Here they come. They'll notice the dog hair on the couch. Must create a diversion. Sit. Smile. Shake.
1. This crunchy stuff for dinner AGAIN?! I'll just help myself to that steak on the counter.
– Moby
When your dog looks at you with those soulful, angelic eyes, all seems right with the world. But, really, we can only speculate about what their looks mean and what is going on in their heads. If only they spoke English......if only. This is my explanation of what all of those sweet blank stares mean. David Letterman always came up with a top 10 list, but I'll do you one better: here's my top 11-- enjoy!
TOP 11 THINGS YOUR DOG IS THINKING
11. I wonder why they threw this stuff in the trash....it's delicious!
10. (ears up, barking at the window). Squirrel! Must chase! Let me ouuuuuuuttt!!
9. Mom is asking me WHY I chewed her shoe? I was just bored! Okay, look really sad so she'll stop yelling. Sad face, sad face, sad face. Aaaaand, she bought it!
8. Aaahh, she's petting me and rubbing my belly....YES! Wait, don't STOP! What does that phone have that I don't?
7. Oh, LOOK! There's one of those little humans. They're always sticky. They smell like food. I bet there's crumbs on him. I gotta lick those.
6. That fluffy dog is prancing around like he owns MY dog park. I'd better chase him. Sigh. He's so loud. And squeaky. He must be stopped.
5. OH NO, it's the big square thing that holds all the clothes. That means they are leaving me. Okay, sad face, sad face, sad face. And they are still filling the square things? That's it. I'm finding some place to pee in the house. Revenge is sweet.
4. Okay, I'm done doing my business, let's get outta here. I stank up the place. Whaa...why is she picking it UP?! How humiliating for her.
3. If....I......could.....just.....reach......that........iiiiiitch. Need. To. Scratch. Wait?! A bath? With the smelly stuff????!??! NOOOOOOO! I'll stop itching, I swear!
2. Oh, they're home. OFF THE COUCH. Here they come. They'll notice the dog hair on the couch. Must create a diversion. Sit. Smile. Shake.
1. This crunchy stuff for dinner AGAIN?! I'll just help myself to that steak on the counter.
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